The Martha Complex - The problem with being a 1950's mom in 2003

"It's a good thing" is a mouthful for a new generation of working mothers

Poor Martha. With all this nasty insider trading business, it must be awfully difficult to focus on glue guns and hand-painted Easter eggs. Martha Stewart's recent run-in with the SEC, however, confirms something most mothers suspected all along: maintaining perfection at work and at home is about as realistic as having a toddler who changes his own diapers.

While they grew up with the mantra "You can have it all," many women are realizing that being a loving wife, a wise and gentle mother, and successful business woman is more than they can handle. Unlike their mother's who struck a blow for feminism by joining the work force, the most recent generation of mothers finds itself trapped in a web of feminist ideals and feminine pursuits.

Old-fashioned values are all the rage with countless magazines and television programs detailing how to make absolutely everything from scratch. Gone are the days when a working mother could pat herself on the back for managing to get a TV dinner on the table to feed her hungry brood. If it isn't a gourmet meal made from organic vegetables grown in her garden, today's working mom feels strangely inadequate. If Martha can make her own Christmas ornaments, and seventeen kinds of cookies while running a business empire, the underlying sentiment seems to be, why can't I?

With Martha's public stumble, however, mothers everywhere can breath a collective sigh of relief. Perhaps when it comes to juggling work and family, perfection is only an illusion and women can cut themselves a little more slack. Remember, it's only "a good thing" if you have the time and energy to enjoy it.

Here are 5 ways to break the Martha Habit:

1. Take your kids to the store, let them choose a bag of cookies, and don't look at the ingredients. Once at home, give a cookie to each child and have one yourself. Pour a glass of milk, and revel in the fact that your kitchen is not covered in flour and that there are no dishes to clean.

2. Get your blood pumping once a week. No offense Martha, but while making your own truffles can be divine, it doesn't leave a whole lot of time to stay in shape. Try an activity that will make you feel like a kid again, like line-dancing, Hip-Hop or Yoga.

3. Despite the hype, most crafts aren't cheap or easy. If you feel your blood pressure rising when you contemplate the amount of time and money you've spent on a project, you should reconsider the whole endeavor. Next time accept that a candle from the dollar store burns just as brightly as one you've molded yourself.

4. If your child is in more than 2 after school activities, think about canceling them. To stop over-scheduling yourself, you must first stop over-scheduling your children.

5. Take a team approach. Your kids would prefer a piniata of a lopsided fish to a perfect replica of a Disney character as long as they got to squish the papier-macher through their little fingers. It doesn't have to look perfect to be perfect as far as kids are concerned, so relax and get them involved in what you're doing.

About the Author:
Lara Shecter
mailto:info@bodegabooks.com
http://www.bodegabooks.com

Lara Shecter has been working from home since having her first child in 1997, and she has learned a lot about what it takes to be a mompreneur in the process. Her first book, The Memory Maker - A Scrapbook for School-Aged Children, was inspired by her desire to keep things simple and fun for busy families. It has sold more than 28,000 copies.